Author Topic: Talk Like A Pirate Day  (Read 3311 times)

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Offline Kvetch

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Talk Like A Pirate Day
« on: September 19, 2013, 07:53:51 am »
Capt'n Jack sent me this message to share with all of ye.

Today be me favorite day out a th'whole year. N why be that, ye ask? It be th'day th'bartender up at Bell and Bush tavern be servin me favorite grog. It be a good thing too. Me ship just sank n me be needin some grog to uplif th'ole spirits. Join me fer a pint or two. Me be needin someone ta tell me tale to.

Offline Calypso

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Re: Talk Like A Pirate Day
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2013, 11:01:15 am »
Logs from a session between Captain Jack, Lazav, Calypso, and Hideki:

Lazav asks, 'So, Cap' did ye become the best pirate on all the sea?'

Captain Jack says, ' Tha be a long story, matey. Pull up a beanbag an listen to da tale of Captain Jack, Fiercest Pirate on this side of the Time Guardian. '

Lazav sits down upon a beanbag.

Captain Jack says, ' Let me freshin me grog. This be a story that needs plenty of waterin. '

Captain Jack enters into the local pub.

Lazav states, 'That Jack be a silly one.'

Hideki has arrived.
The town slut flutters her eyelashes at Hideki.

A large green dragon swoops down from the clouds and takes Hideki to its nest.

Lazav mutters, 'not seen a dragon recall in years...'

Captain Jack staggers out of the pub, tripping on everything in sight.

Captain Jack hiccups. *HIC!*

Lazav peers around, looking as if it has trouble seeing everything clearly.

Captain Jack says, ' Arr! Ahoy there, Blood Baron. Ye be ready fer the tale of da centruy? '

Lazav asks, 'What is the tale?'

Captain Jack says, ' ye asked me how me cames ta be the best pirate in the 7 seas. '

Lazav states, 'Arr, I be listening.'

Lazav perks its ears up and listens intently.

Captain Jack says, ' It were nearly 25 year back when i was but a first mate to Cap'n Elmer Fairydancer. '

Lazav snickers softly.

Lazav asks, 'Aye, Fairydancer?'

Captain Jack says, ' A course, we didn't call him that. Lacks in the fearsome department. '

Lazav snickers softly.

Captain Jack says, ' We called him Cap'n Jagged! '

Lazav states, 'Oh my.'

Captain Jack says, ' For his eye was a fearsome ugly sight indeed. '

Captain Jack says, ' He ne'er covered it, but left it flappin out in the sea air. '

Lazav mutters, 'Arr...'

Captain Jack says, ' He were a fair Cap'n always paid me wages n gave me and da rest a da boys a bit a extra now and again. '

Lazav states, 'Seems like a nice swashbuckler.'

Captain Jack says, ' But That weren't enough for some of the scurvy sea snakes aboard the ship. '

Captain Jack says, ' Got greedy they did. '

Captain Jack says, '  Planned a mutiny! '

Lazav goes, 'ooOOooOOooOOoo'

Captain Jack says, ' The mutiny was led by the scoundrel Tobias Slaughter, who was workin as the ships galley mate. '

Captain Jack says, ' Rumor say he were as mean and heartless as the snakes tattooed on his arm. '

Lazav states, 'Arr...heard a' him once.'

Captain Jack says, ' Some stories e'en talked about him gougin the eyes out of his enemies and leavin them alive to live out their days a cripple. '

Lazav cringes in terror!

Captain Jack says, ' then use the eyes in jams and pies. '

Lazav mutters, 'Oh my...'

Captain Jack says, ' a mean cold hearted snake he were,  but his pies were noted fer their pungent taste, quite a favorite among the crew. '

Lazav states, 'Aye, a good cook me sees.'

Captain Jack says, ' Anyway, Slaughter an his men planned an upheav'l. '

Captain Jack says, ' On the Cap'n's birthday, Slaughter made him a surprise rum cake. '

Captain Jack says, ' the surprise be the gunpoweder, said he. '

Lazav giggles.

Captain Jack says, ' I didn't hear a the plan til the whole thing was carried out, and the capn lay dead upon the poop deck. '

Lazav mutters, 'Not the poop deck...'

Captain Jack says, ' Slaughter an his men had won an there be nothin left fer me to do but to find the remaining faithful members, an escape. '

Captain Jack says, '  this wornt ta be over, thought I. '

Captain Jack says, ' Nay! I would avenge me beloved Cap'n Fairydancer-- erm Cap'n Jagged. '

Lazav snickers softly.

Captain Jack says, ' Me an me crew found safe harbor in Barcelona, on the coast of the purdiest sea ye e'er seen. '

Captain Jack says, ' When the scoundrel made his way back to day coast, as me be knowin he mye, me crew disguised oursevles as Spanish sailors lookin fer work. '

Lazav puckers its mouth up into a little 'o'.

Captain Jack says, '  We waited three whole week afore we made our move. '

Lazav mutters, 'Tha' be a long time now...'

Hideki has arrived.

The town slut flutters her eyelashes at Hideki.

Captain Jack says, ' We were somewhere in da middle of da Atlantic blue when me men prepped da escape boat and set da whole damned ship on fire. '

Captain Jack says, ' We left unscathed and watched as da ship n crew burn ta nothin '

Captain Jack says, ' Unbeknownst to us at da time, the pox ridden sea snake made it out with his life. '

Captain Jack says, ' Aye that is was, matey. but Christ had nothin ta do with what happened next. '

Lazav mutters, 'Aye...'

Lazav peers around, looking as if it has trouble seeing everything clearly.

Hideki asks, 'what happened?'

Captain Jack says, ' We used the loot we plundered from the ship to buy a small merchant ship. '

Captain Jack says, ' We set sail and found another small ship, an boarded it. '

Lazav squints and looks very shifty.

Hideki sits down upon a beanbag.

Captain Jack says, ' this one be one with canons and powder and the like. '

Lazav states, 'Arrr...a good one.'

Captain Jack says, ' T'werent very big but it be good enough. '

Captain Jack says, ' We used that ship to attack and acquire a slightly larger ship. '

Captain Jack says, ' and so on til we got ourselves the Naked Gull- fiercest ship this side of the Med Sea. '

Lazav goes, 'ooOOooOOooOOoo'

Captain Jack thinks back on an old memory and laughs.

Captain Jack says, ' Arr, me hearties, I be forgettin ta tell ye me favorite story. '

Lazav nods.
Lazav perks its ears up and listens intently.

Captain Jack says, ' One night, as we pirates tend ta do, we drank ourselves into a stupor, an somehow lost the hats of every crew member aboard. '

Captain Jack says, ' Well, that be no problem for the rapidly growing most fearsome band in the Sea. '

Lazav mutters, 'Arr how do ye possibly lose that many hats...'

Captain Jack says, 'Nay I don't be rememberin that part, matey. We was three sails to da wind, we was. Rye bad off. Alls me be knowin is there wornt a single hat on board.'

Captain Jack says, ' We boarded a ship the next morn, demanded they give us all their hats... '

Captain Jack says, ' They were scared of Fearsome Jack and me crew of merciless seadogs. They gave no disagreement about givin us what we asked fer.

Captain Jack, 'We took the hats, an left without stealin a single other thing.'

Captain Jack snickers at some secret joke.

Captain Jack says, ' That be a good story, it be. '

Captain Jack says, ' anyway, I be gettin sidetracked. '

Lazav snickers softly.

Captain Jack hiccups. *HIC!*

Lazav states, 'That be a good one indeed.'

Captain Jack says, ' So we heard rumor that Slaughter had indeed escaped. '

Captain Jack says, ' His whole crew went down but not he. He left his sinking ship like the yellow bellied pestual infested coward he be. '

Captain Jack says, ' He somehow commandeered a ship and a few mates that be as dirty as he. '

Captain Jack says, ' And went about from port to port, kidnappin people ad forcin them to work on his ship. '

Captain Jack says, ' as he learned, it wornt da best way of gaining loyalty from his crew. '

Lazav states, 'Arr, that be true.'

Captain Jack sickers to himself.

Lazav states, 'Aye, ye be drinking too much Cap'n.  Sickering.'

Captain Jack drunkenly staggers around the room.

Captain Jack hiccups. *HIC!*

Captain Jack says, ' Aye matey, I be doing good ta remember where me own feet arrr '

Captain Jack says, ' It didn't take mech to find him and his hole in the sea he called a ship. '

Captain Jack says, 'We found the poxridden cockroach and his band of miscreants and forced labor.

Captain Jack says, ' We rammed the ship from the port bow. '

Captain Jack says, ' And boarded. "Cap'n" Slaughter an his crew be waitin fer us.  '

Captain Jack says, ' Slaughter recognized me from when we served together under Cap'n Jagged. He sneered like the rat he be an asked if'n I be there to avenge me Cap'n's life or his eye tha he took years before tha '

Lazav states, 'Arr, bet he din't stand a chance.'

Captain Jack says, ' A mean snake like Slaughter dint survive on good looks, matey. He be knowin how ta fight. '

Lazav nods at Captain Jack.

Captain Jack says, ' His men outnumbered me crew but I had loyalty on me side. An that of a right cause! '

Lazav nodnods excitedly.

Captain Jack says, ' We cornered Slaughter and his crew and gave him one last chance to surrender. '

Captain Jack says, ' We knew he wornt ta take it but we made the offer none da less. '

Hideki drinks whisky from a glass of Scotch whiskey.

Captain Jack says, ' The legend go tha we defeated the seasnake in a fight tha went down in history books but between you and me, lad, tha ain't e'zactly wha happ'n'd. '

Lazav eyes Captain Jack from head to toe... What could this mean?

Captain Jack says, ' Ye see, at the mention of the word surrender, his ill-gotten crew of forced labor turned on him, agreein to work for me for peanuts. '

Lazav asks, 'Fer peanuts?'

Captain Jack says, ' Aye, peanuts. Their words of acceptance were, an i quote, 'Why the hell not" '

Lazav snickers softly.

Captain Jack says, ' Thus I had command of the finest ship and the biggest crew in al of da 7 seas. '

Lazav states, 'What a tale.'

Captain Jack says, ' as for Slaughter, we used his head as a decoration hangin off da side a me ship. '

Captain Jack says, ' That be the truth, matey, in its entirety. '

Lazav says, 'Aye'

Captain Jack says, ' at least, tha be the way *I* tell it, lad, an ain't no one here to be contradictin me. '

Captain Jack winks.

Lazav winks at Captain Jack.

Captain Jack makes a wide gesture with his hand.

Lazav claps its hands together for Captain Jack.

Lazav says, 'that was a good story'

Calypso scoffs.

Lazav gives Calypso the eye, looking her up and down from head to toe.

Hideki drinks whisky from a glass of Scotch whiskey.

Captain Jack says, ' Aye... "Why the hell not"  '

Hideki drinks whisky from a glass of Scotch whiskey.

Hideki drinks whisky from a glass of Scotch whiskey.

Hideki drinks whisky from a glass of Scotch whiskey.

Captain Jack says, ' That became me crew's warcry- "Why the hell not!". '

Hideki exclaims, 'heaor heahr!'

Captain Jack says, ' It be written on our own Jolly Roger too. '

Captain Jack hiccups. *HIC!*

Calypso states, 'I am pretty sure you made up at least half of that.'

Captain Jack says, ' Ain't no one ask ye a damned thing, ye saucy wench'

Calypso eyes Captain Jack from head to toe... Hmmmmmm...

Lazav states, 'Arr, do not be talkin' to the Goddess like that.'

Captain Jack says, ' Pardon me, Miss. I be forgettin meself. '

Lazav eyes Captain Jack from head to toe... What could this mean?

Calypso SLAYS Captain Jack mercilessly.

Lazav snickers softly.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 11:11:43 am by Calypso »
I get my energy from my Inner G.